Expert tips and resources for taking care of aging loved ones

It’s no secret that America’s population is aging. In 2020, nearly 1 in 6 people in the U.S. were age 65 or older. With an aging population comes increased reliance on adult and elder care — unpaid family care in this country is valued at roughly $1 trillion each year. 

Caregiving for adults is frequently in addition to other caregiving responsibilities. Nearly a third of caregivers are part of the “sandwich generation,” meaning they are simultaneously raising children and supporting aging parents or loved ones. 

With all of that in mind, it’s probable that if you’re not already helping care for older loved ones, you will have that responsibility someday. 

“There are many people who we call experienced caregivers,” says Emily Mroz, assistant professor in the School of Nursing. “We often start with caring for our parents or grandparents, but some people end up in a second or third caregiving role, whether for our spouse, a sibling or someone else.

“The way things work in the U.S. right now is that we have many people who are older as compared to those who are younger, so there’s an increased reliance on people to be caregivers more than once while they are young adults and middle-aged,” adds Mroz, a social-behavioral scientist who specializes in adult development and aging.

Alongside Mroz’s expert insights, we’ve gathered resources available to Emory University and Emory Healthcare employees who are serving as caregivers. 
 

Caregiving resources available for employees

“We want more people to know what these benefits aren’t just for those with parents or loved ones in Atlanta,” says work life specialist Mary Ellen Eady. “A lot of these benefits and supports apply across the country, so it’s worth looking into even if you’re not locally caretaking.” 

Both Emory Healthcare and Emory University employees have access to emergency backup care through Bright Horizons. The nationwide program provides 10 days of emergency care per calendar year. 

Emory employees enrolled in the MetLife Legal Plan have access to Family First, a confidential caregiving resource that provides personalized guidance, care planning, resource navigation and support for caregiver well-being at no additional cost. Not signed up for the MetLife Legal Plan yet? Elect this benefit during open enrollment.

Beginning Jan. 1, 2027, MetLife will expand family support through Plus Parents, extending legal coverage to eligible parents, parents-in-law and grandparents for an additional $5.50 per month. The benefit includes estate planning, elder care consultations, identity restoration services, and assistance with a variety of personal legal matters. Together, Family First and Plus Parents help employees navigate both the caregiving and legal responsibilities of supporting aging loved ones — offering comprehensive support for the whole family.

Eady also points to Emory-specific resources like the monthly caregiver conversations, which offer individuals a way to connect online with people who are having a similar experience. Details about the meetings can be found on the Emory University Events Calendar. Webinars on caregiver stress are available through Revive & Thrive for Emory Healthcare employees. 

“The number one most important strategy is to connect with others,” Mroz echoes. “It helps validate what you’re feeling and going through. Processing internally and not sharing can be really tough. Everyone needs an outlet, and other people can help you reflect and reframe. Peers in support groups can connect you with practical resources that they recommend, too.” 

Emory University’s Faculty Staff Assistance Program (FSAP) offers some services around grief and loss, as well as caregiver support, for employees and their benefits-eligible family members. 

Emory University employees can also request a Work Life Consultation to discover more personalized resources, have a care consultation and more. 

“Grief isn’t just about people dying,” Eady says. “It’s about your journey, and there’s often grief around caring for someone who is not the same person anymore.” 
 

Planning for the future

While it can feel uncomfortable to plan for future care needs, Eady also encourages having conversations sooner rather than later. 

“A lot of times people are surprised that something happens, or they didn’t know about their loved one’s finances. Then you’re in trouble and you’re trying to do legal things and deal with so much during the worst time in your life. 

“Don’t wait until the medical crisis to take action and get plans in place,” she says, adding that making those plans in advance is something her office can help with. 

“And while you’re helping your parents get their documents in place, get yours prepared, too,” Eady emphasizes. 

Mroz agrees that starting these conversations before problems arise can make things easier. Especially because changes like cognitive decline can happen gradually. 

“I recommend starting to talk to your parents, or other loved ones, way before they’re having problems. You can ask about their health or open up about yours. But if the first time you’re talking to them about their health is when you’re pointing out cognitive decline, it can feel threatening, and they might get defensive, which can derail the conversation.” 

But what if you haven’t had those types of conversations in advance, and you’re feeling the need to discuss now? 

“Then I would say to start with an open conversation,” Mroz says. “Ask if anything has recently changed for them or how they’re feeling — and you don’t have to mention cognition. Some people don’t notice things have changed. Others do, but may be hesitant to talk about it.

“Starting by asking their opinion on their own health can help give the agency or power to the person you’re caring for.” 

Mroz and Eady both acknowledge how hard it can be to think about and discuss realities of aging and end of life, which is why so many people put off these conversations. 

But when you’re in the thick of caregiving for an aging loved one, whether or not you had pre-determined plans, Mroz emphasizes the importance of offering them quality of life — which doesn’t always mean a cure. 

“Caregivers need to trust their instincts for what quality of life would be for this person. It doesn’t always mean extending the lifespan,” Mroz says. “What can caregivers create or offer someone rather than only focusing on taking things away? For example, for someone with dementia, when we restrict and make their lives smaller, we can sometimes cause their symptoms to progress. We need to pair safety values with that person’s values and to truly promote the quality of life. 

“Going back to the roots of what matters to that person can help you maintain their dignity.”